I wonder if anyone actually reads my blog anyways.
I'm missing my old friends who accepted the me last time. We would hang out in each other's house. Talk about common interests we share.
No idea why i'm feeling so emo now. Listening to Eminem's album really brings back a lot of memories.
I do know one thing know. I miss being my old self.
I'm living a very contradictory life:
1) I love rap songs but i'm listening to love songs too
2) I love wearing baggy pants and jackets but i'm putting on make up wearing formal shirts and slacks
3) I love writing songs that reflects my life as a way to release my tension but i'm looking for people to talk to, to share my problems
4) I love performing, dramas, acts, dance but i'm hiding from people recording my own "performance"
5) I love making people laugh but i'm one of those who sits in a crowd and listens to people
6) I love fighting, i'm dreaming of guns and blades, all for a good cause like saving people and the world of course, but i'm learning to say "welcome, pls and thank u" and smiling for nothing.
7) I love putting posters of my idols on my wall, but i can't because of such reasons like "i'm growing up, need to be more mature"
8) I love it to not smile when i don't feel like it, but i don want to be known as the SAD/EMO/UNFRIENDLY
9) I love wearing sneakers and sandles but i have to get use to wearing high heels
10) I love music, sports and science but i'm learning to cook and bake
It is not true if i say i don't care about what people think, because if i really don't. I'm not the me i am now.
U feel me?
I know i'm not the only one. We always behave ourselves in public, some of us just want to blend in; some of us just decided to move on from being their old self.
'You can take the girl outta the jungle, but you can't take the jungle outta the girl'
That's me man, i love climbing trees. If you hate it, get the doot away.
What..track 19 already? That's fast! Encore =P
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Lately
Beginning of anxiety strike.
I cant sleep, i cant draw, i cant concentrate to read a full sentence completely.
I seriously could not sleep no matter how sleepy i was. Mind will be filled up with all sorts of thoughts that kept my heart pumping in adrenaline as if it is the warming up of an exercise.
My sickness is coming on and off. It is so not me getting sick so many times in a year, and it is only what..FEBRUARY??
Damn. Are these the effects of not exercising?
J'ai un test de francaise a plus tard. J'ai peur. Est-ce que c'est difficile? Est-ce que c'est facile?? Je ne sais pas vraiment. =/
Enfin, je suis desolee que ca devait finir comme ca.
I cant sleep, i cant draw, i cant concentrate to read a full sentence completely.
I seriously could not sleep no matter how sleepy i was. Mind will be filled up with all sorts of thoughts that kept my heart pumping in adrenaline as if it is the warming up of an exercise.
My sickness is coming on and off. It is so not me getting sick so many times in a year, and it is only what..FEBRUARY??
Damn. Are these the effects of not exercising?
J'ai un test de francaise a plus tard. J'ai peur. Est-ce que c'est difficile? Est-ce que c'est facile?? Je ne sais pas vraiment. =/
Enfin, je suis desolee que ca devait finir comme ca.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
(Please write a title)
What I did today :
1) Suppose to wake up at 8a.m to study
2) Turned off the alarm when it rang and continue sleeping
3) Wanted to wake up the next hour but..no. -.-
4) Ended up waking at 12.30p.m and had lunch
5) Cant remember what the hell i did, until bout 3?
6) Finally sat in my room with notes in my hand, it was only a few lines until i got bored and started smsing mon amie (my friend).
7) Continued to study a few more lines after that and went out with sis -.-
8) Until about 5.30p.m? Stone
9) Slept at 6p.m until 7.30.
10)Started "reading" again, had the urge to sms again after a few lines, but did not want to disturb my friend so....
11) I really have no idea what happened after that
12) Had coleslaw for dinner, drank 3 cups of thick barley which i somehow found quite addicting.
13) Started using the comp until now.
14) Blogging this to release my needs to speak to someone
15) Hmm..
16)Oh ya, in some part of my mind i'm trembling due to the fact that it is week 8 already
I want to P.E.E... Barley..heh heh..
My sister is giving me weird stare. Ok, was.
Ok..is again. And now..was. =/
Je ne pas etudier.
I need..toilet. But the clean one is in used, don't want to use the other one. Why am i writing this again??
Body aching from yesterday's badminton. Reminding me of how unfit i am with the pain from every move that i make. But i jogged =/ Sometimes i just don't understand the mechanisms of exercising.
P.S : I love horses and the person whom i named "Beautiful" in my phone's contact list. Bye (",)/"
1) Suppose to wake up at 8a.m to study
2) Turned off the alarm when it rang and continue sleeping
3) Wanted to wake up the next hour but..no. -.-
4) Ended up waking at 12.30p.m and had lunch
5) Cant remember what the hell i did, until bout 3?
6) Finally sat in my room with notes in my hand, it was only a few lines until i got bored and started smsing mon amie (my friend).
7) Continued to study a few more lines after that and went out with sis -.-
8) Until about 5.30p.m? Stone
9) Slept at 6p.m until 7.30.
10)Started "reading" again, had the urge to sms again after a few lines, but did not want to disturb my friend so....
11) I really have no idea what happened after that
12) Had coleslaw for dinner, drank 3 cups of thick barley which i somehow found quite addicting.
13) Started using the comp until now.
14) Blogging this to release my needs to speak to someone
15) Hmm..
16)Oh ya, in some part of my mind i'm trembling due to the fact that it is week 8 already
I want to P.E.E... Barley..heh heh..
My sister is giving me weird stare. Ok, was.
Ok..is again. And now..was. =/
Je ne pas etudier.
I need..toilet. But the clean one is in used, don't want to use the other one. Why am i writing this again??
Body aching from yesterday's badminton. Reminding me of how unfit i am with the pain from every move that i make. But i jogged =/ Sometimes i just don't understand the mechanisms of exercising.
P.S : I love horses and the person whom i named "Beautiful" in my phone's contact list. Bye (",)/"
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
??
It is the second day of class again, after the CNY holidays.
It's just getting worst.
I know, i know, i'm not good in what i'm doing. OK! I chose the wrong course, I BLOODY KNOW! Rather than rubbing it into my face can u at least show a lil support?
Whatever la.
I'm trying my best to live with reality where people just come around and knock you down, and there is no background music in life. -.- No music = no motivation. Unless i listen to the radio or mp3. But those things are not always there and i cant always listen to them now can i..
I just heard that there is this computer program thing in don't know where, for fresh high school graduates to use. Which is really cool, it actually tests your knowledge and interests and tells you which course suits you.
ARGH! Might not sound loud here but i'm really shouting at the top of my lungs that i only heard of this computer thingy today. I could have been somewhere else enjoying life, enjoying friends who do not turn their backs on you when a fire breaks, enjoying my future. But..Jus wake up la. No actually, just go to sleep, maybe i'll have a better tomorrow.
*fingers crossed*
It's just getting worst.
I know, i know, i'm not good in what i'm doing. OK! I chose the wrong course, I BLOODY KNOW! Rather than rubbing it into my face can u at least show a lil support?
Whatever la.
I'm trying my best to live with reality where people just come around and knock you down, and there is no background music in life. -.- No music = no motivation. Unless i listen to the radio or mp3. But those things are not always there and i cant always listen to them now can i..
I just heard that there is this computer program thing in don't know where, for fresh high school graduates to use. Which is really cool, it actually tests your knowledge and interests and tells you which course suits you.
ARGH! Might not sound loud here but i'm really shouting at the top of my lungs that i only heard of this computer thingy today. I could have been somewhere else enjoying life, enjoying friends who do not turn their backs on you when a fire breaks, enjoying my future. But..Jus wake up la. No actually, just go to sleep, maybe i'll have a better tomorrow.
*fingers crossed*
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