Hohoho

Hey to all you imagination readers of mine

MERRY CHRISTMASSSS!

That's right,
another year has gone by
Quick huh?
Not really though
If you just sit back and think about all those tough times you had this year
No sleep hours of assignments,
long boring classes,
countless silent-awkward group discussions

I guess time is always messing with us.
It is fast when we want it to be slow
Slow when we want it to go fast

Any-mother-jingglin'-hoo
It's Xmas day!
What i received this year:
1. A pillowpet Cow from bro
This is MuMu =)

2. Happy BBQ time with family (excluding dad who was working)
Ooh, look at him telling a story
Youngest weird sisterThis is the alien sisterMommy and Lena
There were mommy's mashed potatoes
(Chef's Special)
Prawns...
Well, what's left of it that is
Mom and I
Story telling
The gang
Including camera woman who was my youngest sister

3. Countless times of shopping with family

2011 Christmas
It was the intangible moments and feelings shared together with my family
that made it awesome

A short story of fats

The worst part of being a girl is easily gaining fats.

I have this important wedding dinner to attend to next week, not mine of course, but my dear aunt's. For the past few weeks, i did managed to gain my fitness back until few days ago when someone brought home durian =(
So yeah, being a maniac for durian, i ate..2 whole containers of the delicious-'bloatful'-high-sugar-and-cholesterol-level king of fruits.
Since then, i've been trying my best to stop my appetite, but i failed.
I also planned to go jogging in the morning, and guess what, failed again, thrice!
Like seriously, when have i stopped exercising...I hate the me now, without basketball, life is just, fattening.

I'm so fat, i cant even bend my body to stretch.
I'm so fat, i'll wake the whole house every morning when i step down my bed.
I'm so fat, my mom couldn't even recognise me.
I'm so fat, if a football roll to me, people would come and kick me instead.
I'm so fat......................you get the picture.

The actual reason why i'm writting this now is to restrain myself from entering the kitchen to take out a bowl of 'tang yuan'. Which is what i'm still going to do anyways after i go offline. FML

Here It Is

I'm not sure if you could remember

But i did mentioned in my previous post,
that i would upload photos of my crew
So, here it is
This is Flava Fresh
This is me with TUDC's president, Vida
This time we were our to celebrate Nick's birthday
Him with Meeta (Sweet couple)
Just some of the guys(Eric & Xtra)
Xtra again, playful as usual
AGAIN
Oh, that's Gordon in white
2 serious guys
Brandon & Caesar
Brandon and Vida
Eric and XTRA?!
So yeah,
this is what i have to go through everytime
Hehe..
This is
And this, is how bad it is right now
=(

Hope t'is all good tomorrow
~Out~

BooHoo

Sometimes i just wonder why do these things happen to me?
Is this my fate, is my life in the future going to be like this?
Is this even permanent?

If it is, somebody, please just kill me now.

There's a first time for everything
Like my first time battling in a bboy competition

It was definitely something new
I had no regrets gaining this experience
Hope i would improve from it

Another one coming tomorrow though
Not really THAT nervous anymore because i know my crew got my back
LUCK
=P

Rise and Shine

It's 9.30a.m!

And my eyes feel wide awake..Why?

THIS
Baked rice and mushroon, cheese, chicken nugget and some really awesome sauce!
Actually this container was meant for my brother to bring to work.
But he doesn't want it, after all my mom's hard work
=(
So i'm eating it.
Who wouldn't want this?
Sucks for him.

So yesterday i had some chatting session with my mom and sisters
So called 'bonding' time
We chat and laughed and did our nails.
You heard me...DID OUR NAILS
These are mine

Well, it really sucked because it was kinda my first time
I painted my big toe black, that cannot be shown
as it is done so badly it's not appropriate for public view =P

Damn..
I wanted to sleep back but i couldn't
What's on ma mind...
Battle this weekend
My lost assignment
Christmas Presents

Not to say the last one is a bad thing
It's just difficult to find out what people wants for Christmas
I'm no Santa

Man, on one hand i'm eager for the competition
On the other, i'm reluctant
What if i fail?
What if i disappoint them?
What if i'm too sick to battle?

And then comes my biggest fear
What if history repeats?
The history of me screwing up in every competition i enter?
Like basketball =(
This might not be the time to back down,
I just hope i'll do what's good in the end

Sigh.

Today is the last day of exam, which marks the start of a month holiday. But how much fun can i have? According to estimations that i learn from a useless lecturer. Let's see:

Dissertation - 30%
No vacations - 20%
Time used to stress about Dissertation - 10%
Needs to save money - 15%
House chores - 10%

There goes my, 85% of fun during this holiday.

I'm not going to post emo stuff on FB, to avoid being a laughing stock, again.
Nor am i going to take it out on twitter, to avoid, public and general nuisance.
Dear blog, you are all i have now. =(
I have so much negativity going on in my mind right now, but there are no one available i can go to.
Come to think of it, I have not really changed my inner self since last time. Always thought i have..since i'm more sociable and treating people with a smile and more patience and all. My mind is still the same. Full of anger, frustration, temper, grudge.

I don't know why i boast about you so much, maybe because you're so perfect and i'm not =/
It's just depressing how............
But this is life, i just hope someone will like me for who i am and make me the first choice.

New car phobia

Today's accident
has taught me alot

Now,
say goodbye money
GOODBYE MONEY
=(

I'm just glad no one was hurt

lolipop

I am sleepy, but i don't want to sleep thinking that i might miss out on..things.

But if i continue waiting, and nothing turns up, then i am just being silly all along.

So what should i do?

I don't think he'll reply me eh..but what if he does?

Sometimes, i hate being a girl.

Kill me now

I can never have a good time in life
Everytime when things finally go right in my life,
just when i'm about to hope for the better,
*POW*
BAD THINGS JUST HIT ME IN THE BUTT

And then the cycle goes on and on and on and on and on and on.
Sometimes, i do hope that the world ends.
Ok, that is a weetle selfish right?

So, let me rephrase, i do hope my world ends. Honestly, i do.
So tired of being the one who tries to smile my way to happiness when it is never there.

You may say things like 'you should be fortunate,people in other country and yadi-yadi-yada'.
Pft, come on, tell me something i don't know.
It is not that i want too much, i know, i am more fortunate than a lot of living things out there.
Just, the timing of events that occurs in my life, they are just wrong.

Sometimes, i wish that you will take my place.
I wish that i'm the one suffering.
I don't appreciate life as much as you do.
You're half dead and yet you're trying to survive, wanting life more than ever
I have all the necessities i need to keep me alive but i still want more.
I really don't deserve this.
Just, please.

Hangover part 1

I am never touching

this
12%
from Belgium(i think)
and this
14.2%
from France

This is the 2nd time i got sick from drinking alcohol
this is the worst one so far
vomited 2 times in public toilet
once on the roadside while walking back
and countless times at home
in the kitchen, toilet and living room
until 3a.m.
Finally managed to sleep,
when i opened my eyes,
it was 7a.m
my mom was awake
I tried to hide it from her,
but she's too smart
-.-
after she found a plastic bag with puke in the rubbish basket

I'm surprised she was not mad,
yet she still fed me panadol and asked what was the celebration for
Oh..
i <3 my mommy =)

Yesterday was the longest day i spent with ma crew
FLAVA FRESHZ
No pictures up yet,
but soon
I bet the rest are still sleeping
>.<
Not all attended the gathering though
Only:
Bboy Santa
Bboy Xtra
Bboy Parry
Bboy Caesar
Bboy Solid
Bboy Nickz
Bboy Sky

and then there's me
(who's trying my best to fit in)
Have not really thought of a name yet
It's either Rooky or Silvermare now

Til the next news
I'm out
=)

Nah!

If you ever ever read my blog ever..

This is for you
NAH
Take that sucker!

How much i wish you guys would
TARE TOI UNE BALLE SIL TE PLAIT

Hence

I hate you
For not knowing how i feel
I hate you
For not caring
I hate you
For not bothering

I hate it
For caring too much
I hate it
For getting nothing in return
I hate it
That i'm always there
But you're not

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Can you even look me in the eye
And tell me why?

Why don't you ever care?
Why are you always not there?

Gloomy day

If only I could turn back time
If only I had said what I still hide
If only I could turn back time..

I would stay for the night

Righteous RIGHTEOUS

Right...
I don't even know what does the title of this post means.

It's 12.20a.m,30th Oct 2011, it's a Sunday.
I have swimming today, at 9a.m.
And i am still awake.

Why?
Because i tell my mind not to sleep until i finish reading one chapter for my POMI.
But what have i been doing?
FB, Youtube, Twitter.

Sometimes i even cut myself to see how much it bleeds. - Eminem
No i don't actually, that lyric just popped into my mind.

What do Santa Claus do, when it's Halloween? - Charlie
Hmm..true also, never really thought of that until now.
Crap, i might be thinking about this the whole night, there goes my notes.....=/

Shut up shut up shut up, don't wanna hear it. - Simple Plan
Oh, this line came into my head when i checked something on fb. (AGAIN? IKR)

Sorry that i know how painful it is to feel what you are feeling but i can't do anything about it.
All i could do, is give u a shoulder to lean on. Though you are too tough to fall, you eventually will.

Just great

It is Oct 1

Yes,it is my birthday

But what great moment to know such devastating news eh

Not really in the mood to celebrate

while some other people are out there suffering from illnesses

Could not even concentrate in my exam this morning

If i could take it from you, i would

I always wished i was the one

Not any of you

This is for you

Though it is pathetic all i could do is type this out

But the lyrics of the song explains what i'm feeling

When i was younger..

I love watching or listening to fairy tales stories (i still do)

To whomever that reads my blog, you should really take some time out to watch this channel:

FTT

When i still had my tape player last time, i would replay the episodes of "Jack and The Beanstalk", "Hansel and Gretel", and "Pinocchio". These 3, because these are what my mom managed to record down last time when we were in Singapore.

I love watching JATB so much that i would STILL imitate how the giant speaks. LOL

And i love watching HAG because the edible house looked so yummy! But the witch scares me, even NOW when i watch it on youtube.

Well, i'm not allowed to copy and paste the embed, so here.. Please please please check this out. I promise you will not regret it =)

But make sure you watch each story til the end =D

So happy that youtube has it.

AND OMG! THIS!

Forget bout the "mouth screaming" scenes and also the '

globe' scene, that was not in before -.-

And not forgetting. The very famous

We would always record this show every weekend before going out.

That was the classics man..with the tape player and all.

I miss the mango tree that i so love to climb on, and that is so big we always use it as a shade =(

Now i cant even smell grass, or the rain smell when it lands on the grass =(

I miss looking out into the sunset from the side sliding door.

I miss looking at the stray dog family that are so loving and caring to one another, and those puppies...oh..those cute puppies! I'm sure they're all grown up by now.

That was all from my old house. I do not like it here, it is so concrete everywhere.

I want more grass!

*snaps back to reality*

How the crap did i go from writing a report into writing a blog -.-

Gotta finish it by 4pm, come on. I can do this.

I'm like...

I guess i'm the highlighter now?

But what? Why?

I was just passing a message.

I'm as innocent as a dove!

Sometimes. You just got to. Sometimes.

Yeah well, just.

Gosh! I'm so tired!

Know this

Life is always unfair.

Sometimes, you just got to lie to feel better

Lying to yourself,

to the public

psychos u to think that things are better

I know,

I do that

And i just did it again

A lie above another lie

Just to make me feel better

I said i don't, but..

Not that i like it

Somethings are just not meant to be shared

Some truth are just too hard to bare

I really did not wish to lie

But truth hurts as much as i do not want to

Anyways,

life is short,

though it is hard to move on,

it is even harder if you don't.

7th Sept 2011

I never enjoyed you

Not even one bit!

One of those

Why do people always do this?

They complain that their gold mine is tooooooo big

If you can't eat that much,

don't buy that much.

This case is different

You can't even eat that much,

you still buy that much

PLUS you complain that it is toooo much

Right..

Why don't you donate to the poor

like..

Now, maintenant, xian zai, sekarang, yi ga

is one of those moment where i don't feel like breathing

I wish Jennifer would seduce me and eat me up

Or better yet, bite me and leave

I lost track of when i started being that person

That person who give all the wrong answers

That person who cannot sit still

That person who gives up

That person.

THIS IS SPARTING KILLING ME

LOLS

; )

What you know bout me

People who can play the piano, gives me an interest.

I like sharing things/feelings, willingly, not being forced to. You may think i like to keep things to myself at times, but only true friends who understand me, will stay back at the end of the day to hear me out.

For a reason, i would like a guy, someday to serenade me with the song 'I love you baby'.

Guys? Always short hair, and funny, it's be a bonus if he plays the piano or basketball or dances.

Do not assume my character, i know me, you don't, so just keep your words.

Hates people forcing me to stop doing something that i want, in order to do another thing that they want.

I don't like lying, but sometimes i do it to protect my own satisfaction. But, truly, i don't do it for a living.

I do joke, i play like a kid, a small boy. At my age, it is not supported for me to do so, but i cannot help it.

Though i may not be good at dancing, i like it.

Boys and girls, are both human. Don't ever compare me to a guy. There are things that i can do, way better than a guy can. Don't ever underestimate me.

Hates people showing off to me. Telling me about what they can do, or what they have achieved. If i did not ask, don't tell me, i don't want to know. And most of the time, i just keep quiet or nod to your achievements, not because i'm amazed, but because i'm tying to keep myself calm, i've done and achieved many things before too, more than you even. If i tell mine, then i am just like you. IF i'm REALLY amazed, my face expression will tell it.

When i'm mad or sad, just listen would ya. Debating with me (or anyone who is mad or sad), is really not a good idea.

Honesty, is a good thing. But please scan through what you want to say out, IN YOUR HEAD first before saying it out and hurting people's feelings, furthermore making yourself to look like a fool.

Oh, did i mention i hate people telling me what they have done and achieved? I think i did, just want to stress this out, because i REALLY HATE IT. You play basketball? Cool, me too. You can run a marathon. That's great, me too! Please just don't underestimate me. I may look fat, or not an athlete or just not fit. I can tell ya, you really need to get to know me more before saying anything.

Do you like someone being mad at you for no reason at all, ALL OF A SUDDEN, then shouts at you in public, FOR NO REASON AT ALL? Clearly, the answer is no. So watch it.

Random fact, i would prefer 'i'm in love with you', rather than 'i love you'.

My most sensitive sectors:

1. Family

2. Money

3. Sports

I hate, ULTIMATELY HATES people calling me rich, just because i'm studying in Taylor's. You want to make a statement like that about me, tell it to my face, and i'll show you what's rich.

I have friends who can spend, maybe because of family background or it is from their own hard work. You want to spend, go ahead, if i cannot afford it, don't make me(call me cheapskate, stingy, selfish), at the end of the day, i'm the one living on the streets, not you.

I don't give a SHIT on BRANDS and NAMES. I live on getting things that can satisfy my needs, not wants. Well, some people just do not have that luxury life like you do, so deal with it. Either you share it, or shut the hell up.

Dislikes people taking mine and naming it theirs. Get your own lines, damn it!

You tell me something about me, if i deny it. Why the hell you keep insisting? Y U NO KNOW THIS WILL MAKE ME HATE YOU?

Trauma

Yet, another day has flew pass without any progression in assignments.

This afternoon shook me with a flashback of fear. And then i started imagining what if things end up like Professor X, in a wheelchair. "No no, everything will be fine" i thought to myself. Knowing it is probably not a right time to laugh, i still created silly jokes here and there to calm the situation. We laughed, with shivers in our laughter, awkward situations.

I just hope things will be better tomorrow. It hurts, to see her like this.

Adding on to the fact that i will not be around tomorrow, makes me even worried.

Please, make tomorrow a worthy one, please make some progress. Please, just.

Someday

Here's what i have been replaying for the past minutes.
After watching 'Waiting for Forever'.
I love Tom Sturridge.
And this song, makes me tear up.

Syok ah!

Have you ever watch Friends?

There was this episode where Chandler took a puff from a cigarette

after quitting it for a long time

Can you imagine that feeling he was having?

That satisfaction?

Well, i had that feeling today

When i played BASKETBALL

The addiction, the heat, the sweat, the thrill!

It's like a drug!

Awww..

It's all coming back to me now.

Why did i ever stopped?

Now i have to train back

i hate this part right here

Alright

Next topic,

honestly, i know is like a super small issue

but, i'm mad

because of something real stupid like..

there are no nice movies to watch when i have the chance to watch a movie

or the fact that

people always ask me to decide on what to eat

I'm a Liberian

We can't decide

Right now,

I'm broke til there is a hole in my pocket because

i keep digging in it looking for at least a cent

if you really must know?

I would just drink xut cha

Furthermore,

i don't eat dinner.

Last thing on my mind

ASSIGNMENTS

Please give me the strength and brain power to finish during this week

My movie list

1. Friends with benefits

2. The smurfs

3. Transformers 3

4. Change up

5. Crazy stupid love

6. The help

7. Monte Carlo

One of the things

Why does this happen to me nowadays?

It's 9 a.m
I'm up
though i slept at 2.am last night.

My sister once told me eye bags are permanent
Oh mon dieu!
I'm gonna look like there is 2 handbags hanging beneath my eyes when i'm old
=(

I hate this
So sleepy
Mais je ne peux pas dormir

Don't know why
j'ai peur
I'll fall.........................
*few words missing there*

I know you're confused
I can like white and black at the same time
But so what
There is no rule stating
you cannot like rock if you like pop right
This is just me
I confuse myself all the time

Another thing to add in this post is
SELFISH people are increasing day by day now
few of them, i see everyday

Go on and say i have PMS
The last i checked was
Things that are meant for public use
have no right to be personalized or customized by your own liking
It is not yours for piece sake
Leave it

You're always this selfish huh..
That spoilt girl when younger
Always got what you want.
I wish you can see how much people put through to tolerate your attitude
You just won't get it.
Never,
because that is just how you are.

Sigh..

Well?

There was only one class today, and i just come to my sense to notice how fast time flies.
After class, decided to stop by the baking shop to buy me some almond powder.
Guess what it's for? You're right...Macarons! =) (For a reason)

Lalala Lululu. After hours of baking. Damn oven of mine disappointed me like mad.
Long story short, i'm never baking this babies at home again.

Also discovered country songs turn me on =p

The Me

Woke up from a nightmare this morning.
Horror + weirdness was not what I needed to start my new week.

I'm feeling so mindless right now.

我已经没有需要用电脑. Mais, si j'arrete maintenant, je sens que je n'ai pas essayer faire mes devoirs.


Mr. D. Qu'il me tue.


Just finish doing a quiz my lecturer posted on FB. Seriously, as a student in Advance French, i really failed =(

Really?

That was the first time i almost had an emotional breakdown in public. What was i bothered about again? Myself? Or them?

Honestly. It is both. I'm such a problematic child! Why can't i just be carefree and happy-go-lucky like the rest?

I hate the fact that those people who act smart/ lan lek with the 欠打 face and attitude along the way, eventually get smart. Unfortunately. Just keep away from me la. I HATE it.

Also hating the fact that i'm so stupid/bodoh/brainless/hopeless. Nyama!

Here We Go Again

Well, it's August.
A new semester, a fresh start.

Only the first week, assignments are piling up already. How can i cope with this?

I hope my life does not end with studies. I hate studying, i hate attending lectures.

The 4 months of holidays had build my relationship with my dancing buddies and my sisters. Spending a day without them is horrible. Total crap-eating-crap horrible. I can't joke, i can't laugh, i can't go crazy. This is nuts! I'M going nuts. Best part, it's only the FIRST WEEK!

Sometimes i feel it's just me, having to host this negative aura around (i always do). I have friends, yes, i do. But, why, what is it that i'm searching for so desperately to convince me that everything is fine, to tell me that i'm not that lonely loser college girl.

Aih.........................It's the classes..right? That's why i'm 'losing it'?

I don't feel that comfortable feeling around anybody anymore.

Just, please. Hang in there.

Love

I will never forget 24th July 2011.

MTV WORLD STAGE.

NEON TREES
30SECONDS TO MARS

.....

Jared Leto
Tyler Glenn
Elaine Bradley

are >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> <3

I love my friend for bringing me along.

It was a thankful night.

15th, 16th, 17th July

Friday:

Finally met up with my buddies from high school =)
After such a long time, and many failed plannings.

(Mayjee, Michelle, Brenda, me)

So this is where we went

It's in KL. We got lost for about 30minutes to 1 hour, partly because of Daniel (GPS) -.-
Alas, we almost gave up hope when we found it. Luckily we did not give up because it was the best pastry place i ever went. The owner is smart to make a restaurant from a house. It's super cozy there.

Here are what I ate:

And a pineapple juice.
Which total up to about RM24.

Next, we went Snowflakes. Which was quite a right time to go because just as soon as we found a parking spot in SS15, Michelle got a call notifying her that she was chosen in the Malaysia Fashion Roadshow. Real happy for her. We celebrated her effort in Snowflakes then.

Saturday:

Went to Penang with my mommy. One thing i regret for going there, I won't be able to see the Floor Combat Bboy battle. One thing i don't regret is...thisTotally sapu all of those with the help of my durian lovers family members.
I ate two plates of durian rice! Mmmmm..
But felt sorry for maid because she did not have much rice to eat =(

And then there is this:

Argh! Super cuteeeeee!!

Sunday:

I woke up at 10am. My uncle just got back from his morning exercise(mountain hiking), and greeted me with these:

MORE DURIANS
(One of the reasons why i wanted to go back)

And then i was so full i could not even bend my body.

Then we head home, and met some turkeys! It was my first time seeing real live turkeys so i had to stop the car to do this:

That is all for my weekend =D