Self Actualization

Know i'm not suppose to even think about blogging at this hour but, yeah, i'm doing it.

This semesters' finals is the least thing that is bothering me right now.
I have done a lot of of thinking about really, just a lot of random stuff.

One of it is: To block or not to block.
I have this friend on FB which irritates me a lot, no offense. He is a good friend and a good guy, but it is just sometimes, no, all the time..he tends to be overly dramatic or overreact. This, i find really irritating because, ALL of hi post, have a minimum of 5 lines! FIVE!
There was actually a discussion on FB posted by my friend regarding those whom express their feelings on FB. She mentioned that it is not wrong to express what you feel, but whether or not it is irritating other people, that is the issue. And another friend commented that if it bothers you that much, you can either block or unsubscribe that person.

Now, back to my friend. Thing about me is..i don't like blocking or unsubscribing my friends on FB unless they really piss me of like, physically and mentally, like the real harm done. But he, he did not do nuts, only posts annoyingly LONG posts...and it's all about him! Trust me, if it's regarding the world or peace, i would not be bothered much about it. Also, if he or she is someone who checks on to FB once in a bluemoon and posts long post, i'm fine. But he logs on to FB just as often as I do.
So yeah, i'm having this dilemma on whether i should unsubscribe or not. Seeing that, he definitely don't know about what i'm feeling towards this matter and he obviously is not going to stop.

Another thing is: I thought I had changed.
I started being a smiley dovey girl, since i was form 3. And it certainly did change me socially. I have more friends and fans, more motivated, more active. Somehow,i still have this feeling that, the internal old me still lingers around. Yes, i would be all smiling and stuff on the outside, but when it comes to initiating the first move in talking with people, i suck.
Maybe that is the reason why I can't get along with college people eh.

It is just a shame to know that, my whole life, these friends of mine from college, are merely acquaintances. After college, the least they would care or think about is me. It is either I can't fit into a group, or i'm just hanging out with people who have their own group, and sending time with me is just a part time thing to do while their away from their group. So it can be concluded that i'm stil a sad lonely, emo rolling stone like i was before putting on those smiles.

But there is nothing I can do about it. I cant change the way people want tot treat me or see me as. Just hope that, one day, there is someone who truly cares about me.